This is an essay in three parts on writing differently, on grief and on breathing. The first part I wrote in one go, embodied and raw. The second part was written over two months, reflecting on my earlier words. The third part argues for the importance of writing differently. I write for hope. Hope is to voice that which has remained silent. Hope is to recognise the full human experience both in our research, our teaching and in our universities. Hope is the creation of different encounters, of momentary affective spaces with the potentiality of alternative endings.